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苏晓康:苦难人长寿(图)

August 19, 2019

 
左起:苏晓康、巫宁坤、巫一毛、巫宁坤夫人李怡楷

巫宁坤在梦乡里辞世。他是基督徒,应该说他熟睡中上天了。巫太太李怡楷清晨四点左右,还起身去老伴儿那张床看过一眼,他呼吸匀称,须臾他就走了。事后我闻之此细节直惊叹:何等的福气呀!巫宁坤一九二〇年九月生人,整好差一岁百岁,很像另一位寿星,周有光享年112岁,其实他的寿数是111岁加1天,因为生日忌日几乎在同一日,可谓奇迹。

巫宁坤泪笑一生。泪者,其自传《一滴泪》,最初以英文问世,所言之苦难,令史学家余英时深为撼动而提笔作序;笑者,他一生幽默,不止翻译了《了不起的盖茨比》,1951年他从芝加哥大学回国,在旧金山遇李政道,巫问何不回国?李答“不想被洗脑”,此一幽默,背后是斑斑泪水。

他也幽默女儿。巫一毛的童年自传 Feather in the Storm ,中译《暴风雨中一羽毛》,feather即她的名字“一毛”,是她父亲在监禁中,正读杜甫,获知生女,便以“万古云霄一羽毛”赐名给这女儿,竟成“巫一毛”三字,“在幼儿园里,我被小朋友们谑称为小巫婆、毛毛虫或三毛。那时有个很流行的漫画系列,叫做《三毛流浪记》。说的是一个大耳朵、圆鼻子、光脚丫、秃头上只有三根头发的男孩在万恶的旧社会受苦受难的故事。文革开始后,我得到了一堆新绰号 ── 小右派、小地主、小资本家、小臭老九、小美国特务、小国民党特务”。巫一毛的文笔也是一种故意的诙谐。

我读巫宁坤自传,他们一家所遭致的欺凌,到了不忍卒读的境地。尤其在芜湖乡下落户那一段,巫一毛妈妈的坚韧无比,在贫贱和无数折磨中显露出惊人的人性光彩,若非她是一个基督徒,怎么挺得过来。对于苦难,巫宁坤书尾有一段话:“持久的苦难决不仅是消极的忍受,而是一宗支持生命的馈赠。受难像是一根绵延不断的线索贯穿生活和历史的戏剧。或许恰恰因为受难在一个人的生命中占有一个无比重要的地位,所以一部丹麦王子的悲剧,或是杜甫荡气回肠的诗篇,才以人生悲剧的壮丽使我们的灵魂升华。人人都以自己的方式受难和从中学习,没有人会徒然受难。”这是大难之后才写得出来的平淡之语。他们巫家人有一种消化苦难的超常之力,或许也是他们存活下来的秘诀,即 I came. I suffered. I survived.(“我归来、我受难、我幸存。”)。

2016年仲夏,我搬到华盛顿特区一带不久,听说巫老先生夫妇就住在另一端的维吉尼亚州,便联络巫一毛想去拜访她父母,她说他们住在一栋老年公寓里,她也住在附近,可以就近照顾。我跟她就约在那里碰头,她领我上去。巫宁坤已经九十七岁,反应稍微迟钝一点,却行动自如;我尤其佩服老太太李怡楷,她如常人,毫无老态,耳聪齿清,跟我们聊起最近的新闻,一切皆知,莫非他们也上网?

想看看老人怎么活着、活得尊严,是我近来的一种愿望,我知道即便在美国,老年人生也不易。垂老相守,黄昏最后一里路,是何等的金贵,就像巫宁坤李怡楷二老,往昔的苦难早已是绵绵的生命力。

我自己呢,人生至少有一半是煎熬、困顿、挣扎,于是懂得生命对众人来说,只是受苦,受苦就是存在。然而我所依仗的不是别的东西,只是妻儿随我遭受种种苦难时的无怨无悔,以及他们对我依旧的信任。人伦中的一些我从未体验过的生死共赴、相濡以沫的微妙之处,给我这三十年的人生以极大的支撑。我由此又想到我妈妈,她一生的抑郁、苦闷以致于对子女之爱抚的难以表达和无可奈何,我离开后她因气闷、思念而在一次突发的脑溢血中去世,死前给我的一封信里她说: “听说你很想我,我不信。但我确是很想你。儿是娘身上的肉……多想妈的好处。”

 

——转自光传媒新闻网(2019-08-12)

中国人权双周刊》第268期,2019年8月16日—2019年8月29日

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